Hi everyone! Thanks for joining me for another edition of "Michell's Weekly Pearl"! If this is your first time visiting, let me tell you a little about this series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer; email me your questions via firstname.lastname@example.org (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! I'll also delete your email once I've transferred your question.To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE).
Keep sending those questions in!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "Not So Sure Anymore" asked...
Hello Michell. I’ve been reading your column for awhile now and wanted to say how much I love it, so I hope you can help me with my situation. I’m a professional woman (who’s been engaged two years) to a man who loves and respects me very much and I do him. He’s very hardworking and provides for me, even though I can manage well on my own. My family knows this and thinks he’s a nice gentleman, BUT, yes, the BIG BUT! They don’t approve of his job (he’s a garbage man). Michell, this has caused a rift between my family and me and quite frankly, now I’m beginning to second guess my relationship. I value your opinion and I could really use your advice on this one.
"Hi “Not so sure anymore”! I sure hope I can help you with this one! The first thing that caught my attention was the fact you said you BOTH love and respect one another. That is the first sign of a relationship that has been built on a great foundation. I see many women get into relationships with men who show neither one of these attributes and wonder why things aren’t working out…go figure. However in your case, you two seem to genuinely love each other. The problem, as with most people, is that you have allowed other people to enter into the equation. Don’t get me wrong, your family and friends(for that matter)love you and as with anyone who loves you, they only want the BEST for you. But, unfortunately, most families get the line between caring and becoming overbearing BLURRED! Most times they mean no harm. A good family WILL protect if they see a red flag, but you’ve mentioned they think he’s a nice gentleman. Which leaves me to assume…they just don’t think he’s the gentleman for YOU! That’s where the line gets blurred…that’s not their decision to make. I think the sad part about the whole situation is that they’ve gotten you to second guess and that’s just too bad, because it sounds as if you two really adore each other. To be quite honest, in fairness to him, before you go any further, you need to assess whether you are knowingly or unknowingly harboring embarrassment in your heart and have a problem with him being a garbage man yourself. I’m not saying that’s the case at all, but sometimes when we start taking what others say into consideration, it can mean that we, in a small way, believe the same thing. I only think it’s fair to the both of you, as I don’t want you to always have in the back of your mind that you’re married to a garbage man and you really can’t deal with that or with anyone knowing it, and I don’t want him to always feel as if he’s an embarrassment to you. He deserves to have someone love him for who he is, not for the job title by his name. That’s certainly not a way to start a marriage. You both need to sit down and have a SERIOUS heart to heart. You need to be honest with him and let him know how you feel. I’m a believer that “true” love can conquer almost anything. It sounds like you really love this guy and I would hate for you to miss out on a chance for a wonderful relationship because of his employment. Remember, a person can always change careers, but it’s not so easy finding someone who has great character. Hope this helps…will be praying for you! I would love to get an update from you! Have a great weekend!"
I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law. My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well! As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.
*Disclaimer*: I don't profess to be an expert, but what I have learned...I'm willing to share. With that being said...what I write on my blog is my opinion and advice. It is not my counsel. This also applies to anyone writing on this blog. If someone uses any advice, opinion or recommendation from this blog and is upset, angered, or harmed in any way, I am not to be held responsible or be held liable in any way. What I write on this blog is not to be taken as fact or absolute. My intention is to do no harm. The content in this blog is the opinion of this blogger and is not intended to disparage or malign anyone or anything that has the ability to be offended. I am not responsible, nor will I be held liable, for anything anyone says on this blog in the blog comments.All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2013 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam