As always, I thank you for joining me for another edition of "Michell's Weekly Pearl", where I seek to use Godly wisdom to offer encouragement. If this is your first time visiting, I'll tell you a little about my advice series. This is where you can ask me anything on marriage, women's issues, family matters, relationships, parenting, homemaking, or life in general. If you want an honest, biblically based, to the point answer, email me your questions via firstname.lastname@example.org (please put "MWP" in the subject area). I'll post your question, along with my answer, anonymously. Easy as that! I'll also delete your email once I've transferred your question. To read all the questions and answers in this series, you can do so (HERE).
Keep sending in those questions!!! In the meantime, read on to see what "How Do I Handle This" asked...
Hi Michele! With the upcoming holidays I’m a little torn. You see my in-laws live out of town(8-10 hours away) and are coming in for Thanksgiving. The problem is they look down on me, well mainly my mother-in-law! Every since I married my husband over 13 years ago, I’ve never been good enough for her son. My husband and I have two young boys who adore their grandparents, so I’ve never let on to them my relationship with their grandparents. I’m torn because I have to stomach them for 2-3 days, but my boys on the other hand want to see their grandparents. How do I handle this?
Hi “How Do I Handle This”. Thanks so much for your question! And how fitting it is, as I know many families will be experiencing this for the next few months. The funny thing about holidays is that it brings out the “best” and the “worst” about “our families”! I often tell people to pick their battles and in your situation I must advise you to do the same! Not to make light of your situation, but to be honest with you, most parents(especially mothers) are like this with their sons…no one will ever be “good enough”, so try not to take it personally. You mentioned that your in-laws are out of town, so I’m assuming holidays are the only time “you” interact with them. You also mentioned that your sons adore them(which is what most grandkids do). With that being said, I say, as much as it may annoy you and you know how
they she feels
about you…you may have to be the bigger person.
Romans 12:18 says “If it is
possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men”. I know it’s
a big pill to swallow, but it’s the right thing to do. I’m not sure if your
relationship with your in-laws will ever change, but you’re responsible to keep
your heart right, so that if/when they come around(change their attitude
towards you), you’re not harboring any hard feelings. Why, because God won’t
look at them concerning your attitude towards them…He’ll look at you! So, with
everything in you…you should be a gracious hostess. It doesn’t feel good at the
moment, but believe me, you’ll have so much peace handling it this way. Besides,
you’ve got…give or take, outside of the Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays,
359-360 days left before you have to see them again. The older your in-laws get,
the fewer these visits will become. So let your sons enjoy them while they can
and let their memories of them be good ones. Hope this helps! I know you’ll do
great! Wishing you and your family a lovely Thanksgiving!
*Readers...do you have trouble with the in-laws during the holidays? If so, how do you handle it?
I’ve been married for over 24 years to my husband, a pastor. I’ve worked alongside him in ministry full-time for over 17 years. During that time, we've pioneered two ministries and I've established a women’s ministry(Women of Excellence). We have three adult children and a son-in-law. My areas of specialty are family, marriage and women’s issues. Hopefully the (Godly)wisdom I’ve learned through my years of experience will lead you to and keep you on the road to doing you well! As my husband always says...why spend your life going down a road you don't have to travel, when someone else has already learned the lesson and can show you how to avoid that path.
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