Monday, December 2, 2013

Mastering YOU Monday....free yourself

mastering life by forgiving others and freeing yourself Hi everyone!! I'm so glad to be back! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families...I sure did! Of course I was so busy entertaining and enjoying my family...I did absolutely NO WORK as far as my blog was concerned(no answering comments, no visiting other blogs, NOTHING), so I'm back to square one...ughh! But you know what, it's all good...I'll eventually get around to it, I promise! So, when I tell y'all that I love and appreciate you, do know that I really mean it. :-) Thanks for the encouragement...you guys ROCK! 

Well, back to the business at hand! It is "Mastering YOU Monday", right?! So for today's post, I went to my blogging bookshelf and pulled out a post that still ministers to me today (some of you who've been around awhile may remember it). With the holiday season upon us, we're all spending more time with our families. Sometimes our family members and loved ones make decisions that can rub us the wrong way, which can make for some awkward family gatherings. With that being said, I thought I'd share with you all my testimony of how I finally freed myself(with the help of Jesus of course), from a decision my father made that really tore at the core of our family. 

SN... I had NO idea of the date of this post when I decided to reprint it, until now. WOW, is all I can say! If you're struggling with a decision a loved one has made, read my story from December 2, 2012, in hopes that it will give you encouragement and help you free yourself as well..... 
Well, I did it! I did something yesterday that freed me. What is it? I called my dad and wished him a “Happy Anniversary”. This may seem ordinary to you, but for me, it.was.a.very.BIG.deal. You see, my parents were married for almost 45 years before my mom passed away suddenly on August 2, 2007. My dad remarried exactly 4 months to the date - December 2, 2007 - at the very same altar where my mom’s casket had once laid…IKR! :-) This was a lot for my sisters and I to digest, as all of our lives, all we had known was mom and dad…together. We were told by others that we all wore the same clothes to my dad’s wedding that day, we had worn to my mother’s funeral…we hadn’t planned this, I promise…SERIOUSLY, LOL! :-) I guess we did it subconsciously.  Anyway, it took me five years to come to the realization that,
I may not have agreed with my dad’s decision, but guess what? It was HIS choice and to be honest, I had NO right to judge him for the decision he made!



We must make sure we’re not holding people hostage because we’re not in agreement with what they choose to do.



Not only do we hold them hostage, but we hold ourselves hostage as well. How you ask? By stressing, worrying, getting angry and worked up over something that, quite frankly, doesn’t even concern us. Do yourself a BIG favor…free yourself by freeing others. Stop tormenting yourself, dwelling on and losing sleep over decisions others make concerning their lives! Believe me, it’s so not worth it! Remember, it’s their lives…let them live it. Yes, sometimes the decisions our loved ones make are not always correct and as hard as it may be, and as much as we may want to interfere…we have NO right to. And guess what, we really don’t even have a right to be angry with them either. The only right we have is to love them and pray for them. 

mastering life by forgiving others and freeing yourself


When we love someone, of course it’s natural to not want to see them make decisions we think are not the right ones, but we must love them enough to allow them to make those decisions –whether good or bad- without being judged by us. Sure, you’ll have some situations where you may have to intervene; but for the most part, those are few and far between. We must admit, many times we disagree because it’s something we wouldn’t have chosen. This may be hard for some of you to swallow, but quite frankly, that would be considered pride and selfishness…something I had to come to the realization I was walking in. Until I came to that point, I could never admit I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, my dad and I have a great relationship and I love him very much. I just didn't like his decision, but had to accept it and clean my heart so that it wouldn't hinder me. You can agree to disagree, but NEVER let your disagreement get in the way of your love walk!



 I’ve shared a very private part of my life, in hopes that it will free someone today. I can tell you, I’m more liberated now than I’ve ever been before.  If you’re willing to give up your hurt, pain and disappointment over choices others have made concerning their lives…do it now by letting  it go, forgiving them and forgiving yourself.  Remember, God gives us a right to choose every single day of our lives. What right do we really have to prevent someone else from doing the same? John 4:12, Romans 14:12
As I stated, we all have mended our relationship and we had the best Thanksgiving since my mother passed away. It looks like I've got a phone call to make to wish a couple "Happy Anniversary". :-) If you've experienced this at all, I'm praying that your heart will be healed and made whole, so you can enjoy and be on your way to mastering life!!
So readers....have you experienced this at all? If so, how did you get past it?
 
All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” Devotionals by Michell Pulliam




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18 comments:

  1. I'm wowing at your date too for the re-share. I will say that it is wonderful that you and your family came around. There are so many consequences otherwise.

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    1. IKR Kenya! That was crazy wasn't it?! You're so right Kenya...I can only imagine what would have happened if I continued to hold on to my hurt and disappointment. :-)

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  2. I can tell you that I have absolutely disagreed with decisions some of my family members have made. Decisions, I felt were irresponsible and unwise. I have however, somewhat recently too, freed myself from their lives and their decisions. I love my family very much, but what I don't like is being asked to help fix a problem that arose from the decision they made that you advised them against. I dunno. Anyway, Welcome back Lady. Thanks for sharing this post. You see it kinda struck a nerve.lol Have a blessed week.

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    1. Hahaha Hope...I SEE! Lol! Yep, you've gotta do it, because just as you said, when the fallout comes from their irresponsible decisions, they want to look at you. I say free yourself from it all! My husband always says that our lives are a cumulation of the decisions we've made.

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  3. Yes, I'm dealing with something similar right now. This is a good perspective for me to keep in mind. I would have had a hard time with your father's decision too… it is hard, especially with those we love most dearly!

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    1. And it was hard Seana...it took Jesus to help me get through it. Praying for you my friend as you deal with your situation. :-)

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  4. As family or shall as humans we will not always agree with each others decisions but we all have the right to make our own decisions. How freeing it is when we release ourselves and others.

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  5. I am in awwww of what you said on here. I do hold others as well as myself hostage when I'm not in agreement with what I think "Should be". Love your post!!!!!!!

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  6. Wow, Michell. I can definitely see how that would've rubbed you and your sisters the wrong way. Someone who my sister and I know did the same thing after 50 years of marriage and we were like, "Whaaaat? How could he turn around and remarry so quickly?" Clearly, I needed your post!! I do need to realize that it's his life, between him and the Lord. Your post is awesome. XOXO

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  7. Wow, Michell! You never cease to amaze me with the way in which you respond to things. Keep walking in love, and sharing with others the lifestyle that pleases God.

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  8. thank you so much for sharing you story, michell. i know it resonates with all of your readers. it definitely resonates with me! i often hold my family and friends to such high standards that when they disappoint me, it's very hard to forgive. but you're right, all of that can fester and hold you prisoner, making you less of a person. we need to let go and not let mishaps get in the way of the love walk!

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  9. Thank you for sharing. It's so hard when it's family. Sometimes we just have to rein ourselves in and be supportive!

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  10. Hi Michell! This is the kind of message that is fresh at any time. We are all in families that are imperfect, and it's hard to accept other peoples decisions. Wow...four months later huh? That would be hard. I am so glad you had sisters you could share your pain with. And I know your Dad is so grateful for your greetings. It takes a lot to accept and release, and you did it. Blaze that trail for us!
    Blessings,
    Ceil

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  11. Sharing this part of your heart is powerful Michell... I can only imagine how painful that was for you and your precious family!! I love how you used something so difficult for His Glory... and I know many hearts will heal from reading this and the Power of His Truth- The message of your post has such a beautiful purpose, my friend.

    God bless YOU!!

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  12. You are a strong and admirable woman. My parents have been married for 41 years and I don't know how I would have reacted if I were in your shoes. I am a very forgiving person, but we all have things we think we can't get past. Kudos to you for embracing your father's new life. Many times we need to get out of our own way. And it takes a lot of energy to hold on to hurt. Thank you for sharing this incredibly personal story, Michell.

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  13. MY FAVORITE post by you. I NEEDED this! Love you!

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  14. Wow, thanks for sharing Michell! That story is moving. Though hard to imagine, I'm sure that your sharing will help someone to free themselves!

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  15. great post, Michell! I can understand why that hurt. I'm glad you were able to free yourself from the frustration you felt!

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Thanks so much for dropping by...I really appreciate it! Please check back for a response to your comment, as I post all responses to comments here on the blog, not via email. Please note, as this is a Christian blog...any comment that contains offensive and/or inappropriate language will be sent to the authorities...NAH, but seriously though, they WILL BE deleted. :-) Have a great day...I call you blessed! ;-)