Monday, January 27, 2014

Mastering YOU Monday...lessons I've learned


lessons learned using Godly wisdom throughout my marriage
As some of you may know, my husband and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary! If you asked me 25 years ago where I would be today…I couldn’t promise you I’d be here.  Why? Because our marriage was definitely NOT the conventional one! 


You see, I met my husband on Oct 14, 1988, the first month really didn’t count(because, as he puts it, I detested him), lol. However, I  have a different opinion!
We got engaged right before Thanksgiving and got married January 7, 1989. It would have been January 1st, but I was afraid to take the blood test…IKR! Yes, we took blood test before getting married back then! Had something to do with making sure you weren't marrying your cousin, genetic diseases, etc. 


Anywho, I wouldn’t recommend what we did to anyone. But, I must admit...even though we hardly knew each other, we both knew that the other was the "one"!  I’m so grateful He took something that was so impossible and made it into something beautiful! Have we had our share of bouts and arguments and rough days…you betcha! But the good ones so outweigh the bad ones! Are my husband and I perfect…heck NO! But you know what, we serve an awesome AND perfect God who makes all things new! God played the biggest role in our marriage being a successful one, but my husband and I most.definitely.had.to.do.our.part, by using Godly wisdom!  With that being said, I’d like to share with you some of the practical living life “lessons” we both had to learn during these 25 years if we wanted to make this thing called “our marriage” work! 




  • Lesson #1…If you’re not a united front, a “team”…don’t expect too much(good) to happen.
  • Lesson#2…There must be MORE to your marriage than just sex. Sex is great, but you’d better be able to function in life together, i.e.( conversate, connect, relate, etc.).
  • Lesson #3…Listen to your spouse…really listen. There’s a lot to be said in subtleness.
  • Lesson #4…If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times…BE FLEXIBLE!  Remember…blessed are the flexible, for they shall NOT be broken.(Dr. M. T. Barclay)
  • Lesson#5…Never hold a grudge. If you’re not going to “completely” forgive your spouse, you might as well throw in the towel NOW and call it quits.
  • Lesson#6…If you think you’re the “perfect” one in the relationship, let me be the first to burst your bubble!
  • Lesson #7…Pick your battles…not all of them are worth the fight!
  • Lesson #8…Only those who put their spouses before themselves will find true joy in their marriages.
  • Lesson #9…If you make your spouse happy, believe me…you’ll get a double portion in return!
  • Lesson #10..Whatever you hold dear to your heart…you’ll put all your heart into!
  • Lesson #11..A good marriage will add to your life, never take away! It will make you want to improve and evolve yourself.
  • And an added bonus...learn to laugh with one another...HAVE FUN TOGETHER and ENJOY each others' company. Seriously, if you're not enjoying each other...then what ARE you doing?!



For any of you out there in a relationship, just starting your marriage off or planning to get married…I hope these are of some help and an encouragement to you. Actually, these principles can be applied to ALL relationships! 

If you want to check out some more advice and some of my marriage musings, you can do so HERE . And if you want to read more marriage posts on my blog, just enter the word "marriage" in the search bar located on the sidebar. Okay, now it's your turn! Tell me some of the relationship lessons you've learned good/bad? 
Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 18:22, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5(AMP), Matthew 22:37-39

*SN...If you haven't entered the $850 cold hard cash giveaway...you still have time! You can enter HERE! *

All Rights Reserved copyright© 2012-2014 Michell Pulliam “Prowess and Pearls” by Michell Pulliam






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20 comments:

  1. #7 is so important... if everything is important, nothing is important. All relationships are about flexing and being willing to let others "win" sometimes, right?

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    1. Yes Seana, right! We don't have to win EVERYTHING! Lol! Have a wonderful Wednesday my friend! ;-)

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  2. Hi Michell! You married quickly my friend! And it's lasted 25 years. That is certainly the Lord working in your lives, no question. Your lessons for marriage are ALL good ones. I can't even pick one that I like better than the other, that's how good they are :)

    Thank you for sharing your joy, and the reasons for that joy too. Oh...Happy Anniversary!!
    Many blessings to you and your husband,
    Ceil

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    1. Aww, thanks so much Ceil! Yes, it was definitely the Lord! Lol! But too funny, even though I had dated people longer than that, we both knew that the other was "the one". ;-) Thanks again my friend, blessings to you as well!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! What great advice, thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks so much and thanks for stopping by! ;-)

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  4. Brilliant post. I think some people want romance 24/7 and don't want to work at their relationships. It is hard some days and wonderful others. You are so right about being a team, being able to laugh and work things out. Happy Anniversary! : )

    Louisa @ My Family & Abruzzo

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    1. Hey Lulu! Thanks my friend! Haha, yes...they want to live in dreamland without putting any work into the "dream"! Have a wonderful rest of your week!

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  5. Thanks for the tips! You are just full of relationship wisdom and you always deliver at the right time! Way to bust my bubble, lol. Seriously, I try my best to pick and choose battles in all relationships!

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    1. Haha Joi! Didn't mean to burst your bubble girl! :-D Thanks lady and thanks for stopping by! xoxo

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  6. I'm still working on the flexible thing....but I've come a long way, I think? ;) Kidding aside, I would agree with all of your bullet points here. You may have gotten married rather quickly, but clearly y'all have applied this wisdom in order to have made it 25 fruitful years! Thanks for sharing your list. We all need these reminders, no matter how long we've been with our spouses. XOXO

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    1. Yes Meredith...I still have to go over them everyday, lol! Haha and I believe you that you've come a long way with the "flexible" thing! :-) Thanks my friend! xoxoxo

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  7. Such great practical wisdom that can be useful for all of our relationships Michell.

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    1. Thanks Wanda, yes they can be can't they! Have a good one my friend! ;-)

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  8. #8 is truly a hard one to swallow but it needs to reiterated from time to time. It's so true and it seems to bounce back and forth, like we always put each other first because we're reciprocating. I just try to remember with each sacrifice comes some kind of payback - in a good way.

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    1. Yes it is Kenya! I constantly have to work on that one too. It's so easy to retreat back to the "me" syndrome! Lol! Yep, a good way indeed! :-)

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  9. My favorite is #4. I know there have been times throughout our marriage that we've become really set in one way of doing things, but circumstances change and being able to adjust has been vital to keeping our marriage happy. I always have to remember that just because we've "always" done something one way doesn't mean that it's the best way for the moment that we're in.

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  10. michell, i can't help that i'm the perfect one in my marriage! hehe! i often wonder how we put up with each other, but it works. God is central to our marriage, so that is critical. and we definitely have fun together. he cracks me up all the time. 25 years...crazy impressive. you are an inspiration.

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  11. Hello, your blog is fantastic, congratulations and kisses from Spain.
    See you: http://redecoratelg.blogspot.com.es/

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  12. Such helpful lessons here for everyone who is married. We will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this summer, and I feel like I still have a lot to learn...this post helped! :)-Ashley

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Thanks so much for dropping by...I really appreciate it! Please check back for a response to your comment, as I post all responses to comments here on the blog, not via email. Please note, as this is a Christian blog...any comment that contains offensive and/or inappropriate language will be sent to the authorities...NAH, but seriously though, they WILL BE deleted. :-) Have a great day...I call you blessed! ;-)